Friday, 15 February 2013

Senses in the pool

Smell, Taste, Feel, See, Hear.


  • Cold Water, Splashing Up to Get You
  • The Cold Wind Blowing Against Your Body.
  • Noodles, Nice and Smooth.

  • Chlorine Cleaning the pool
  • Just Like Summer.

  • all Yucky and disgusting, like Chemicals, Off someone’s foot!
  • Watery Liquid, Splashing against your Body

  • You Hear The Violent squeals of the girls
  • The Splashes.

  • Ripples Through The Water
  • Noodles And Flutter Boards Scattered in the pool

Mayhem In The Pool
It is a nice, sunny day, lying on some noodles, nice and smooth... I can smell the chlorine, making a nice clean pool... I can see the clouds, shaped like many objects, and the cleaner, cleaning the pool of the leaves. I fall off my noodles giving me a mouthful of disgusting gunky water, I can hear people squealing, screaming and splashing, “hey!” I yell.
I dodge a squirt from my friend's water gun “squirt!” It went “hah, you missed me!” I say
I started chasing after my friend, “splash splosh” “Squirt!” goes my water gun.
“Ahh!” My friend shouts “that's cold!” It’s mayhem In the pool, at Parkvale School.

Senses In The Pool

1 comment:

  1. You really use your senses well in this piece of writing, Teva. Your sentences flow together well. I also like the strong words you are choosing to put a picture in the reader's mind.



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