Senses
Smell, Taste, Feel, See, Hear.
Feel
- Cold Water, Splashing Up to Get You
- The Cold Wind Blowing Against Your Body.
- Noodles, Nice and Smooth.
Smell
- Chlorine Cleaning the pool
- Just Like Summer.
Taste
- all Yucky and disgusting, like Chemicals, Off someone’s foot!
- Watery Liquid, Splashing against your Body
Hear
- You Hear The Violent squeals of the girls
- The Splashes.
See
- Ripples Through The Water
- Noodles And Flutter Boards Scattered in the pool
Mayhem In The Pool
It is a nice, sunny day, lying on some noodles, nice and smooth... I can smell the chlorine, making a nice clean pool... I can see the clouds, shaped like many objects, and the cleaner, cleaning the pool of the leaves. I fall off my noodles giving me a mouthful of disgusting gunky water, I can hear people squealing, screaming and splashing, “hey!” I yell.
I dodge a squirt from my friend's water gun “squirt!” It went “hah, you missed me!” I say
I started chasing after my friend, “splash splosh” “Squirt!” goes my water gun.“Ahh!” My friend shouts “that's cold!” It’s mayhem In the pool, at Parkvale School.
Senses In The Pool
You really use your senses well in this piece of writing, Teva. Your sentences flow together well. I also like the strong words you are choosing to put a picture in the reader's mind.
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