Thursday, 1 November 2012

Quick Time

Quick time.
(Scene: burning Bank, Auckland)
“Theres no time!” the man named Zach screamed.
“But we got to get the money, it must be half burnt by now!” the man named Roca said.
“Ugh!” Zach says jumping to the building next to the bank, just missing the blaze.
“Woah Zach your shoe’s melting!” Roca said.
“Who cares, Roca! all I care about is my LIFE” Zach yells again, doing a flip onto a cleaners platform, then down to the ground.
“Oh yeah?” Roca said, not concentrating “well I’ll get the Money!” Roca says falling into the burning bank.
“BOOOM” the bank goes cause the fire ignited the energy cables.
“Well, there goes Roca,” says Zach
“Stop right there!” A man in a helicopter said.
“Police, now stop or we will make you!” the man said.
“Alright, alright” Zach says putting his hands up
“Yah!” Zach grunts, knocking the pistol out of the man's hands then smashing through the window into the building next door.
(Scene: Uncle Bob's mayonnaise store, Auckland)
“BAM, BAM BAM” goes the police’s pistols
“Ugh, man I never knew these guys never give up,” Zach says.
“COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!” the man says.
“Yeah right, if I’d fall for that one,” Zach says, going through a ventilation shaft.

(Scene: ventilation shaft heading to Nephew Sams pet shop, Auckland)
“PING” goes a bullet because the policemen are too “Big” to fit in.
“Well, taste my dynamite!” Zach says, throwing a stick of dynamite.
“BOOM” goes the dynamite.
“Darn, missed” Zach says.
“Bark! Bark!” go the police dogs, coming up the shaft.
“Nooo not the- ACHOO” says Zach. “Do you like sleepy steak?”He throws steak with sleep powder in them.
“RIp SHIIP” goes the steak.
“Roo-*snore*” go the dogs.
“Good dogs,” Zach whispers.
(Scene: Nephew Sams pet shop, Auckland)
“OH SNAP!” Zach says.
“Chocolate bickies!” says a big police man.
“No, we have not found him yet.”
“ACHOO” Zach sneezes
“Ohhh snap,” Zach whispers.



  1. I really like your action verbs and strong nouns, Teva. The reader can visualise what is happening.

    You have a lot of dialogue. It is good used lots of words instead of said like whispers and grunts to keep it interesting.

  2. Amazing Teva.
    I really like your story so far.
    I can't wait for the next chapter to come.
    Great post.

  3. Amazing Teva.
    I really like your story.
    I can't wait for more.
    Well done:)

  4. Your story is awesome Teva. Can not wait for more.

  5. Interesting story Teva I love all the action very exciting can't wait till part 2

  6. Awesome Teva!
    I like the start, it sounds like its going to be a great story. I can't wait for the next chapter. Great job!

  7. Wow Teva your story is so cool. Your writing is so cool now I really like reading it. Please do chapter 2. Katrina

  8. Wow Teva. That is an amazing story. I like the start the best because it really hooked me in. Well done. Why do you like writing so much?

  9. Wow Teva! You did really well on this. I can't wait until the next QUICK TIME! Well done. :)

  10. Awesome job Teva!
    I love your writing. I like how you put in the places where you were and how they looked. The start really hooks in the reader and makes me want to read on.
    From Kazza.

  11. Thanks, everyone!

    I really enjoyed making it!



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...